Read on esquire.com
I’d like to announce my intentions to write this blog post. As of this announcement, I will formally begin writing, effective the end of this sentence. Not that sentence, this sentence. The previously announced story will concern announcements, and the act of announcing. Without further adieu:
Earlier today, Jeb Bush formally announced his plans to announce his plans to run for president.
Jeb Bush’s announcement announcement is not to be confused with Jeb Bush’s announcement announcement announcement, which happened last December, when Jeb announced in a Facebook note that he had decided to “actively explore the possibility of running for President of the United States.”
Before Hillary announced her intention to run for office, her camp leaked the news of her announcement to the press. Hillary’s April 10 announcement announcement gave the media a full 48 hours to prepare for the real announcement that Sunday morning, which took the form of a video, a video in which Hillary waited until the 1:32 mark to make her announcement.
This past spring, representatives for Caitlyn Jenner, formerly Bruce, announced that she would announce her transition into womanhood during an interview with Diane Sawyer. The interview, itself, served as an announcement for a forthcoming “docu-series” about her transition. Monday’s Vanity Fair cover was, itself, a visual announcement.
Can you still picture Jay Z parading a cabal of very wealthy musicians out on stage to announce TIDAL? That was March 30. TIDAL’s laughable announcement ceremony helped set the service on a path for doom. Remember when they announced, then un-announced, then re-announced that David Lynch is (was?) working on the Twin Peaks reboot? Remember when LeBron James kept us waiting for days/weeks/months for the taking-his-talents announcement? That was five years ago. Tonight, he’s back in the same uniform of the team he announced he was leaving.
The business of announcing is nothing new, nor is it inherently indigenous to this era. But the announcement announcement, and, in Jeb’s case, the announcement announcement announcement, is entirely of this moment, insofar as it’s nothing more than a ploy to manufacture a trending topic. Jeb wants attention. Jeb is the Republican frontrunner despite not having yet “entered the race,” though he has announced his plans to announce, which means … something? Jeb wants to trend, goddamit.
But if an announcement hits the Internet and doesn’t become a trending topic, what’s the point? For that matter, if an announcement makes no measurable impact, can we even label it an announcement at all? Is something only important if it’s worthy of being announced? And yet, is nothing important if everything is deemed announce-able?